I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
