Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
