Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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