shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
