well you can't waste a boner
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Still dying that you shit outside
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
