There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
