This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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