I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
NoShamevember. You game?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
