That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
