do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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