apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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