Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize