just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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