bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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