He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize