A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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