Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
