you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
