he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Drunk is a universal language darling
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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