You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
