Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
