A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
