I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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