I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
