He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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