im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize