When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
