I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
