i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
