They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
