Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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