Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
