im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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