The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
