Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
