you would pick up someone in the library
well you can't waste a boner
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
