I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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