I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize