I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize