my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
