You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
please don't ironically join a cult
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