if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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