Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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