I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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