Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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