Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
