You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize