We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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