Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
