I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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