he told me I talked like a deaf person
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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