She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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