I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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