based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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