wanna go halves on a baby?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
