lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
