so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
