Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
