Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize