yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize