No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize