actually, I'm a sock model
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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