no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
