at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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